第184页
《简·爱(英文版)》章节:第184页,宠文网网友提供全文无弹窗免费在线阅读。!
It was dated three years back.
'Why did I never hear of this?' I asked.
'Because I disliked you too fixedly and thoroughly ever to lend a
hand in lifting you to prosperity. I could not forget your conduct
to me, Jane- the fury with which you once turned on me; the tone in
which you declared you abhorred me the worst of anybody in the
world; the unchildlike look and voice with which you affirmed that the
very thought of me made you sick, and asserted that I had treated
you with miserable cruelty. I could not forget my own sensations
when you thus started up and poured out the venom of your mind: I felt
fear as if an animal that I had struck or pushed had looked up at me
with human eyes and cursed me in a man's voice.- Bring me some
water! Oh, make haste!'
'Dear Mrs. Reed,' said I, as I offered her the draught she
required, 'think no more of all this, let it pass away from your mind.
Forgive me for my passionate language: I was a child then; eight, nine
years have passed since that day.'
She heeded nothing of what I said; but when she had tasted the
water and drawn breath, she went on thus-
'I tell you I could not forget it; and I took my revenge: for you
to be adopted by your uncle, and placed in a state of ease and
comfort, was what I could not endure. I wrote to him; I said I was
sorry for his disappointment, but Jane Eyre was dead: she had died
of typhus fever at Lowood. Now act as you please: write and contradict
my assertion- expose my falsehood as soon as you like. You were
born, I think, to be my torment: my last hour is racked by the
recollection of a deed which, but for you, I should never have been
tempted to commit.'
'If you could but be persuaded to think no more of it, aunt, and to
regard me with kindness and forgiveness-'
'You have a very bad disposition,' said she, 'and one to this day I
feel it impossible to understand: how for nine years you could be
patient and quiescent under any treatment, and in the tenth break
out all fire and violence, I can never comprehend.'
'My disposition is not so bad as you think: I am passionate, but
not vindictive. Many a time, as a little child, I should have been
glad to love you if you would have let me; and I long earnestly to
be reconciled to you now: kiss me, aunt.'
I approached my cheek to her lips: she would not touch it. She said
I oppressed her by leaning over the bed, and again demanded water.
As I laid her down- for I raised her and supported her on my arm while
she drank- I covered her ice-cold and clammy hand with mine: the
feeble fingers shrank from my touch- the glazing eyes shunned my gaze.
'Love me, then, or hate me, as you will,' I said at last, 'you have
my full and free forgiveness: ask now for God's, and be at peace.'
Poor, suffering woman! it was too late for her to make now the
effort to change her habitual frame of mind: living, she had ever