BARBARA S-----
Thislittlemaidhadjustenteredhereleventhyear;butherimportantstationatthetheatre,asitseemedtoher,withthebenefitswhichshefelttoaccruefromherpiousapplicationofhersmallearnings,hadgivenanairofwomanhoodtoherstepsandtoherbehaviour.Youwouldhavetakenhertohavebeenatleastfiveyearsolder.
Tilllatterlyshehadmerelybeenemployedinchoruses,orwherechildrenwerewantedtofillupthescene.Butthemanager,observingadiligenceandadroitnessinheraboveherage,hadforsomefewmonthspastintrustedtohertheperformanceofwholeparts.Youmayguesstheself-consequenceofthepromotedBarbara.ShehadalreadydrawntearsinyoungArthur;hadralliedRichardwithinfantinepetulanceintheDukeofYorkandinherturnhadrebukedthatpetulancewhenshewasPrinceofWales.ShewouldhavedonetheelderchildinMortonspatheticalter-piecetothelife;butasyetthe"ChildrenintheWood"wasnot.
Longafterthislittlegirlwasgrownanagedwoman,Ihaveseensomeofthesesmallparts,eachmakingtwoorthreepagesatmost,copiedoutintherudesthandofthethenprompter,whodoubtlesstranscribedalittlemorecarefullyandfairlyforthegrown-uptragedyladiesoftheestablishment.Butsuchastheywere,blottedandscrawled,asforachildsuse,shekeptthemall;andinthezenithofherafterreputationitwasadelightfulsighttobeholdthemboundupincostliestMorocco,eachsingle——eachsmallpartmakingabook——withfineclasps,gilt-splashed,&c.Shehadconscientiouslykeptthemastheyhadbeendeliveredtoher;notablothadbeeneffacedortamperedwith.Theywereprecioustoherfortheiraffectingremembrancings.Theywereherprincipia,herrudiments;theelementaryatoms;thelittlestepsbywhichshepressedforwardtoperfection."What,"shewouldsay,"couldIndianrubber,orapumicestone,havedoneforthesedarlings?"
Iaminnohurrytobeginmystory——indeedIhavelittleornonetotell——soIwilljustmentionanobservationofhersconnectedwiththatinterestingtime.
NotlongbeforeshediedIhadbeendiscoursingwithheronthequantityofrealpresentemotionwhichagreattragicperformerexperiencesduringacting.Iventuredtothink,thatthoughinthefirstinstancesuchplayersmusthavepossessedthefeelingswhichtheysopowerfullycalledupinothers,yetbyfrequentrepetitionthosefeelingsmustbeedeadenedingreatmeasure,andtheperformertrusttothememoryofpastemotion,ratherthanexpressaPresentone.Sheindignantlyrepelledthenotion,thatwithatrulygreattragediantheoperation,bywhichsucheffectswereproduceduponanaudience,couldeverdegradeitselfintowhatwaspurelymechanical.Withmuchdelicacy,avoidingtoinstanceinherself-experience,shetoldme,thatsolongagoaswhensheusedtoplaythepartoftheLittleSontoMrs.PortersIsabelIa,(Ithinkitwas)whenthatimpressiveactresshasbeenbendingoverherinsomeheart-rendingcolloquy,shehasfeltrealhottearsetricklingfromher,which(touseherpowerfulexpression)haveperfectlyscaldedherback.IamnotquitesosurethatitwasMrs.Porter;butitwassomegreatactressofthatday.Thenameisindifferent;butthefactofthescaldingtearsImostdistinctlyremember.Iwasalwaysfondofthesocietyofplayers,andamnotsurethatanimpedimentinmyspeech(whichcertainlykeptmeoutofthepulpit)evenmorethancertainpersonaldisqualifications,whichareoftengotoverinthatprofession,didnotpreventmeatonetimeoflifefromadoptingit.Ihavehadthehonour(Imustevercallit)oncetohavebeenadmittedtothetea-tableofMissKelly.IhaveplayedatseriouswhistwithMr.Liston.Ihavechattedwithevergood-humouredMrs.CharlesKemble.Ihaveconversedasfriendtofriendwithheracplishedhusband.IhavebeenindulgedwithaclassicalconferencewithMacready;andwithasightofthePlayer-picturegallery,atMr.Matthewss,whenthekindowner,toremuneratemeformyloveoftheoldactors(whomhelovessomuch)wentoveritwithme,supplyingtohiscapitalcollection,whatalonetheartistcouldnotgivethem——voice;andtheirlivingmotion.Oldtones,half-faded,ofDoddandParsons,andBaddeley,havelivedagainformeathisbidding.OnlyEdwinhecouldnotrestoretome.Ihavesuppedwith——;butIamgrowingacoxb.
AsIwasabouttosay——atthedeskofthethentreasureroftheoldBaththeatre——notDiamonds——presentedherselfthelittleBarbaraS.
TheparentsofBarbarahadbeeninreputablecircumstances.Thefatherhadpractised,Ibelieve,asanapothecaryinthetown.ButhispracticefromcauseswhichIfeelmyowninfirmitytoosensiblythatwaytoarraign——orperhapsfromthatpureinfelicitywhichacpaniessomepeopleintheirwalkthroughlife,andwhichitisimpossibletolayatthedoorofimprudence——wasnowreducedtonothing.Theywereinfactintheveryteethofstarvation,whenthemanager,whoknewandrespectedtheminbetterdays,tookthelittleBarbaraintohispany.
AttheperiodImencedwith,herslenderearningswerethesolesupportofthefamily,includingtwoyoungersisters.Imustthrowaveiloversomemortifyingcircumstances.Enoughtosay,thatherSaturdayspittancewastheonlychanceofaSundays(generallytheironly)mealofmeat.
OnethingIwillonlymention,thatinsomechildspart,whereinhertheatricalcharactershewastosupoffaroastfowl(OjoytoBarbara!)someicactor,whowasforthenightcatererforthisdaintyinthemisguidedhumourofhispart,threwoverthedishsuchaquantityofsalt(OgriefandpainofhearttoBarbara!)thatwhenhecrammedaportionofitintohermouth,shewasobligedsputteringlytorejectit;andwhatwithshameofherill-actedpart,andpainofrealappetiteatmissingsuchadainty,herlittleheartsobbedalmosttobreaking,tillafloodoftears,whichthewell-fedspectatorsweretotallyunabletoprehend,mercifullyrelievedher.
Thiswasthelittlestarved,meritoriousmaid,whostoodbeforeoldRavenscroft,thetreasurer,forherSaturdayspayment.
Ravenscroftwasaman,Ihaveheardmanyoldtheatricalpeoplebesidesherselfsay,ofallmenleastcalculatedforatreasurer.Hehadnoheadforaccounts,paidawayatrandom,keptscarceanybooks,andsummingupattheweeksend,ifhefoundhimselfapoundorsodeficient,blesthimselfthatitwasnoworse.
NowBarbarasweeklystipendwasabarehalfguinea.Bymistakehepoppedintoherhanda——wholeone.
Barbaratrippedaway.
Shewasentirelyunconsciousatfirstofthemistake:Godknows,Ravenscroftwouldneverhavediscoveredit.
Butwhenshehadgotdowntothefirstofthoseuncouthlanding-places,shebecamesensibleofanunusualweightofmetalpressingherlittlehand.
Nowmarkthedilemma.
Shewasbynatureagoodchild.Fromherparentsandthoseabouthershehadimbibednocontraryinfluence.Butthentheyhadtaughthernothing.Poormenssmokycabinsarenotalwaysporticoesofmoralphilosophy.Thislittlemaidhadnoinstincttoevil,butthenshemightbesaidtohavenofixedprinciple.Shehadheardhonestymended,butneverdreamedofitsapplicationtoherself.Shethoughtofitassomethingwhichconcernedgrown-uppeople——menandwomen.Shehadneverknowntemptation,orthoughtofsparingresistanceagainstit.
Herfirstimpulsewastogobacktotheoldtreasurer,andexplaintohimhisblunder.Hewasalreadysoconfusedwithage,besideanaturalwantofpunctuality,thatshewouldhavehadsomedifficultyinmakinghimunderstandit.Shesawthatinaninstant.Andthenitwassuchabitofmoney!andthentheimageofalargerallowanceofbutchersmeatontheirtablenextdaycameacrossher,tillherlittleeyesglistened,andhermouthmoistenedButthenMr.Ravenscrofthadalwaysbeensogood-natured,hadstoodherfriendbehindthescenes,andevenremendedherpromotiontosomeofherlittleparts.Butagaintheoldmanwasreputedtobeworthaworldofmoney.Hewassupposedtohavefiftypoundsayearclearofthetheatre.Andthencamestaringuponherthefiguresofherlittlestockinglessandshoelesssisters.Andwhenshelookedatherownneatwhitecottonstockings,whichhersituationatthetheatrehadmadeitindispensableforhermothertoprovideforher,withhardstrainingandpinchingfromthefamilystock,andthoughthowgladsheshouldbetocovertheirpoorfeetwiththesame——andhowthentheycouldacpanyhertorehearsals,whichtheyhadhithertobeenprecludedfromdoing,byreasonoftheirunfashionableattire——inthesethoughtsshereachedthesecondlanding-place——thesecond,Imeanfromthetop——fortherewasstillanotherlefttotraverse.
NowvirtuesupportBarbara!
Andthatnever-failingfrienddidstepin——foratthatmomentastrengthnotherown,Ihaveheardhersay,wasrevealedtoher——areasonabovereasoning——andwithoutherownagency,asitseemed(forsheneverfeltherfeettomove)shefoundherselftransportedbacktotheindividualdeskshehadjustquitted,andherhandintheoldhandofRavenscroft,whoinsilencetookbacktherefundedtreasure,andwhohadbeensitting(goodman)insensibletothelapseofminutes,whichtoherwereanxiousages;andfromthatmomentadeeppeacefelluponherheart,andsheknewthequalityofhonesty.
Ayearortwosunrepiningapplicationtoherprofessionbrightenedupthefeet,andtheprospects,ofherlittlesisters,setthewholefamilyupontheirlegsagain,andreleasedherfromthedifficultyofdiscussingmoraldogmasuponalanding-place.
Ihaveheardhersay,thatitwasasurprise,notmuchshortofmortificationtoher,toseethecoolnesswithwhichtheoldmanpocketedthedifference,whichhadcausedhersuchmortalthroes.
ThisanecdoteofherselfIhadintheyear1800,fromthemouthofthelateMrs.Crawford,*thensixty.sevenyearsofage(shediedsoonafter);andtoherstrugglesuponthischildishoccasionIhavesometimesventuredtothinkherindebtedforthatpowerofrendingtheheartintherepresentationofconflictingemotions,forwhichinafteryearsshewasconsideredaslittleinferior(ifatallsointhepartofLadyRandolph)eventoMrs.Siddons.
[Footnote]*ThemaidennameofthisladywasStreet,whichshechanged,bysuccessivemarriages,forthoseofDancer,Barry,andCrawford.ShewasMrs.Crawford,andathirdtimeawidow,whenIknewher.