THE TWO RACES OF MEN.
Observewhohavebeenthegreatestborrowersofallages——Alcibiades,Falstaff,SirRichardSteele——ourlateinparableBrinsleywhatafamilylikenessinallfour!Whatacareless,evendeportmenthathyourborrower!whatrosygills!whatabeautifulrelianceonProvidencedothhemanifest,——takingnomorethoughtthanlilies!Whatcontemptformoney,——accountingit(yoursandmineespecially)nobetterthandrossWhataliberalconfoundingofthosepedanticdistinctionsofmeumandtuum!orrather,whatanoblesimplificationoflanguage(beyondTooke),resolvingthesesupposedoppositesintooneclear,intelligiblepronounadjective!Whatnearapproachesdothhemaketotheprimitivemunity,totheextentofonehalfoftheprincipleatleast!——
Heisthetruetaxerwho"callethalltheworlduptobetaxed;"andthedistanceisasvastbetweenhimandoneofus,assubsistedbetwixttheAugustanMajestyandthepoorestobolaryJewthatpaidittribute-pittanceatJerusalem!——Hisexactions,too,havesuchacheerful,voluntaryair!Sofarremovedfromyoursourparochialorstate-gatherers,——thoseink-hornvarlets,whocarrytheirwantofweleintheirfaces!Heethtoyouwithasmile,andtroublethyouwithnoreceipt;confininghimselftonosetseason.EverydayishisCandlemas,orhisFeastofHolyMichael.Heapplieththelenetormentumofapleasantlooktoyourpurse,whichtothatgentlewarmthexpandshersilkenleaves,asnaturallyasthecloakofthetraveller,forwhichsunandwindcontended!HeisthetrueProponticwhichneverebbeth!Theseawhichtakethhandsomelyateachmanshand.Invainthevictim,whomhedelightethtohonour,struggleswithdestiny;heisinthenet.Lendthereforecheerfully,Omanordainedtolend——thatthoulosenotintheend,withthyworldlypenny,thereversionpromised.CombinenotpreposterouslyinthineownpersonthepenaltiesofLazarusandofDives!——but,whenthouseesttheproperauthoritying,meetitsmilingly,asitwerehalf-way.Come,ahandsomesacrifice!Seehowlighthemakesofit!Strainnotcourtesieswithanobleenemy.
Reflectionsliketheforegoingwereforceduponmymindbythedeathofmyoldfriend,RalphBigod,Esq.,whodepartedthislifeonWednesdayevening;dying,ashehadlived,withoutmuchtrouble.Heboastedhimselfadescendantfrommightyancestorsofthatname,whoheretoforeheldducaldignitiesinthisrealm.Inhisactionsandsentimentshebeliednotthestocktowhichhepretended.Earlyinlifehefoundhimselfinvestedwithamplerevenues;which,withthatnobledisinterestednesswhichIhavenoticedasinherentinmenofthegreatrace,hetookalmostimmediatemeasuresentirelytodissipateandbringtonothing:forthereissomethingrevoltingintheideaofakingholdingaprivatepurse;andthethoughtsofBigodwereallregal.Thusfurnished,bytheveryactofdisfurnishment;gettingridofthecumbersomeluggageofriches,moreapt(asonesings)
Toslackenvirtue,andabateheredge,
Thanprompthertodoaughtmaymeritpraise,
hesetforth,likesomeAlexander,uponhisgreatenterprise,"borrowingandtoborrow!"
Inhisperiegesis,ortriumphantprogressthroughoutthisisland,ithasbeencalculatedthathelaidatythepartoftheinhabitantsundercontribution.Irejectthisestimateasgreatlyexaggerated:——buthavinghadthehonourofacpanyingmyfriend,diverstimes,inhisperambulationsaboutthisvastcity,IownIwasgreatlystruckatfirstwiththeprodigiousnumberoffaceswemet,whoclaimedasortofrespectfulacquaintancewithus.Hewasonedaysoobligingastoexplainthephenomenon.
Itseems,thesewerehistributaries;feedersofhisexchequer;gentlemen,hisgoodfriends(ashewasleasedtoexpresshimself),towhomhehadoccasionallybeenbeholdenforaloan.Theirmultitudesdidnowaydisconcerthim.Herathertookaprideinnumberingthem;and,withComus,seemedpleasedtobe"stockedwithsofairaherd."
Withsuchsources,itwasawonderhowhecontrivedtokeephistreasuryalwaysempty.Hediditbyforceofanaphorism,whichhehadofteninhismouth,that"moneykeptlongerthanthreedaysstinks."Sohemadeuseofitwhileitwasfresh.Agoodparthedrankaway(forhewasanexcellenttoss-pot),somehegaveaway,theresthethrewaway,literallytossingandhurlingitviolentlyfromhim——asboysdoburrs,orasifithadbeeninfectious,——intoponds,orditches,ordeepholes,——inscrutablecavitiesoftheearth;——orhewouldburyit(wherehewouldneverseekitagain)byariverssideundersomehank,which(hewouldfacetiouslyobserve)paidnointerest——butoutawayfromhimitmustgoperemptorily,asHagarsoffspringintothewilderness,whileitwassweet.Henevermissedit.Thestreamswereperennialwhichfedhisfisc.Whennewsuppliesbecamenecessary,thefirstpersonthathadthefelicitytofallinwithhim,friendorstranger,wassuretocontributetothedeficiency.ForBigodhadanundeniablewaywithhim.Hehadacheerful,openexterior,aquick,jovialeye,abaldforehead,justtouchedwithgrey(canafides).Heanticipatednoexcuse,andfoundnone.And,waivingforawhilemytheoryastothegreatrace,Iwouldputittothemostuntheorisingreader,whomayattimeshavedisposablecoininhispocket,whetheritisnotmorerepugnanttothekindlinessofhisnaturetorefusesuchaoneasIamdescribing,thantosaynotoapoorpetitionaryrogue(yourbastardborrower),who,byhismumpingvisnomy,tellsyou,thatheexpectsnothingbetter;and,therefore,whosepreconceivednotionsandexpectationsyoudoinrealitysomuchlessshockintherefusal.
WhenIthinkofthisman;hisfieryglowofheart:hisswelloffeeling:howmagnificent,howidealhewas;howgreatatthemidnighthour;andwhenIparewithhimthepanionswithwhomIhaveassociatedsince,Igrudgethesavingofafewidleducats,andthinkthatIamfallenintothesocietyoflenders,andlittlemen.
ToonelikeElia,whosetreasuresarerathercasedinleathercoversthanclosedinironcoffers,thereisaclassofalienatorsmoreformidablethanthatwhichIhavetouchedupon:Imeanourborrowersofbooks——thosemutilatorsofcollections,spoilersofthesymmetryofshelves,andcreatorsofoddvolumes.ThereisComberbatch,matchlessinhisdepredations!Thatfoulgapinthebottomshelffacingyou,likeagreateyetoothknockedout——(youarenowwithmeinmylittlebackstudyinBloomsbury,reader!)——withthehugeSwitzer-liketomesoneachside(liketheGuildhallgiants,intheirreformedposture,guardantofnothing)onceheldthetallestofmyfolios,OperaBonaventurae,choiceandmassydivinity,towhichitstwosupporters(schooldivinityalso,butofalessercalibre,——Bellarmine,andHolyThomas),showedbutasdwarfs,——itselfanAscapart!——thatComberbatchabstracteduponthefaithofatheoryheholds,whichismoreeasy,Iconfess,formetosufferbythantorefute,namely,that"thetitletopropertyinabook(myBonaventure,forinstance),isinexactratiototheclaimantspowersofunderstandingandappreciatingthesame."Shouldhegoonactinguponthistheory,whichofourshelvesissafe?
Theslightvacuumintheleft-handcase——twoshelvesfromtheceiling——scarcelydistinguishablebutbythequickeyeofaloser——waswhilomthemodiousresting-placeofBrownonUrnBurial.C.willhardlyallegethatheknowsmoreaboutthattreatisethanIdo,whointroducedittohim,andwasindeedthefirst(ofthemoderns)todiscoveritsbeauties——butsohaveIknownafoolishlovertopraisehismistressinthepresenceofarivalmorequalifiedtocarryheroffthanhimself——Justbelow,Dodsleysdramaswanttheirfourthvolume,whereVittoriaCorombonais!TheremaindernineareasdistastefulasPriamsrefusesons,whentheFatesborrowedHector.HerestoodtheAnatomyofMelancholy,insoberstate.ThereloiteredtheCompleteAngler;quietasinlife,bysomestreamside——Inyondernook,JohnBuncle,awidower-volume,with"eyesclosed,"mournshisravishedmate.
OnejusticeImustdomyfriend,thatifhesometimes,likethesea,sweepsawayatreasure,atanothertime,sea-like,hethrowsupasrichanequivalenttomatchit.Ihaveasmallunder-collectionofthisnature(myfriendsgatheringsinhisvariouscalls),pickedup,hehasforgottenatwhatoddplaces,anddepositedwithaslittlememoryasmine.Itakeintheseorphans,thetwice-deserted.TheseproselytesofthegateareweleasthetrueHebrews.Theretheystandinconjunction;natives,andnaturalised.ThelatterseemaslittledisposedtoinquireouttheirtruelineageasIam——Ichargenowarehouse-roomforthesedeodands,norshalleverputmyselftotheungentlemanlytroubleofadvertisingasaleofthemtopayexpenses.
ToloseavolumetoC.carriessomesenseandmeaninginit.Youaresurethathewillmakeoneheartymealonyourviands,ifhecangivenoaccountoftheplatterafterit.Butwhatmovedthee,wayward,spitefulK.,tobesoimportunatetocarryoffwiththee,inspiteoftearsandadjurationstotheetoforbear,theLettersofthatprincelywoman,thethricenobleMargaretNewcastle?——knowingatthetime,andknowingthatIknewalso,thoumostassuredlywouldstneverturnoveroneleafoftheillustriousfolio——whatbutthemerespiritofcontradiction,andchildishloveofgettingthebetterofthyfriend?——Then,worstcutofall!totransportitwiththeetotheGallicanland——
Unworthylandtoharboursuchasweetness,
Avirtueinwhichallennoblingthoughtsdwelt,
Purethoughts,kindthoughts,highthoughts,hersexswonder!——
hadstthounotthyplay-books,andbooksofjestsandfancies,aboutthee,tokeeptheemerry,evenasthoukeepestallpanieswiththyquipsandmirthfultales?——ChildoftheGreen-room,itwasunkindlydoneofthee.Thywife,too,thatpart-French,better-partEnglishwoman!——thatshecouldfixuponnoothertreatisetohearaway,inkindlytokenofrememberingus,thantheworksofFulkeGreville,LordBrook——ofwhichnoFrenchman,norwomanofFrance,Italy,orEngland,waseverbynatureconstitutedtoprehendatittle!WastherenotZimmermanonSolitude?
Reader,ifhaplythouartblessedwithamoderatecollection,beshyofshowingit;orifthyheartoverflowethtolendthem,lendthybooks;butletitbetosuchaoneasS.T.C——hewillreturnthem(generallyanticipatingthetimeappointed)withusury:enrichedwithannotations,triplingtheirvalue.Ihavehadexperience.ManyarethesepreciousMSS.ofhis——(inmatteroftentimes,andalmostinquantitynotunfrequently,vyingwiththeoriginals)——innoveryclerklyhand——legibleinmyDaniel:inoldBurton;inSirThomasBrowne;andthoseabstrusercogitationsoftheGreville,now,alas!wanderinginPaganlands——Icounselthee,shutnotthyheart,northylibrary,againstS.T.C.