第327页
《简·爱(英文版)》章节:第327页,宠文网网友提供全文无弹窗免费在线阅读。!
firmer on my head, as if he claimed me: he surrounded me with his arm,
almost as if he loved me (I say almost- I knew the difference- for I
had felt what it was to be loved; but, like him, I had now put love
out of the question, and thought only of duty). I contended with my
inward dimness of vision, before which clouds yet rolled. I sincerely,
deeply, fervently longed to do what was right; and only that. 'Show
me, show me the path!' I entreated of Heaven. I was excited more
than I had ever been; and whether what followed was the effect of
excitement the reader shall judge.
All the house was still; for I believe all, except St. John and
myself, were now retired to rest. The one candle was dying out: the
room was full of moonlight. My heart beat fast and thick: I heard
its throb. Suddenly it stood still to an inexpressible feeling that
thrilled it through, and passed at once to my head and extremities.
The feeling was not like an electric shock, but it was quite as sharp,
as strange, as startling: it acted on my senses as if their utmost
activity hitherto had been but torpor, from which they were now
summoned and forced to wake. They rose expectant: eye and ear waited
while the flesh quivered on my bones.
'What have you heard? What do you see?' asked St. John. I saw
nothing, but I heard a voice somewhere cry-
'Jane! Jane! Jane!'- nothing more.
'O God! what is it?' I gasped.
I might have said, 'Where is it?' for it did not seem in the
room- nor in the house- nor in the garden; it did not come out of
the air- nor from under the earth- nor from overhead. I had heard
it- where, or whence, for ever impossible to know! And it was the
voice of a human being- a known, loved, well-remembered voice- that of
Edward Fairfax Rochester; and it spoke in pain and woe, wildly,
eerily, urgently.
'I am coming!' I cried. 'Wait for me! Oh, I will come!' I flew to
the door and looked into the passage: it was dark. I ran out into
the garden: it was void.
'Where are you?' I exclaimed.
The hills beyond Marsh Glen sent the answer faintly back- 'Where
are you?' I listened. The wind sighed low in the firs: all was
moorland loneliness and midnight hush.
'Down superstition!' I commented, as that spectre rose up black
by the black yew at the gate. 'This is not thy deception, nor thy
witchcraft: it is the work of nature. She was roused, and did- no
miracle- but her best.'
I broke from St. John, who had followed, and would have detained
me. It was my time to assume ascendency. My powers were in play and in
force. I told him to forbear question or remark; I desired him to
leave me: I must and would be alone. He obeyed at once. Where there is
energy to command well enough, obedience never fails. I mounted to
my chamber; locked myself in; fell on my knees; and prayed in my
way- a different way to St. John's, but effective in its own
fashion. I seemed to penetrate very near a Mighty Spirit; and my