第34章
《THE CATCHER IN THE RYE(麦田里的守望者英文版)》章节:第34章,宠文网网友提供全文无弹窗免费在线阅读。!
Then the crook that had stolen them probably would've said,
his voice very innocent and all, "What gloves?" Then what I probably would've done, I'd
have gone in his closet and found the gloves somewhere. Hidden in his goddam galoshes
or something, for instance. I'd have taken them out and showed them to the guy and said,
"I suppose these are your goddam gloves?" Then the crook probably would've given me
this very phony, innocent look, and said, "I never saw those gloves before in my life. If
they're yours, take 'em. I don't want the goddam things." Then I probably would've just
stood there for about five minutes. I'd have the damn gloves right in my hand and all, but
I'd feel I ought to sock the guy in the jaw or something--break his goddam jaw. Only, I
wouldn't have the guts to do it. I'd just stand there, trying to look tough. What I might do,
I might say something very cutting and snotty, to rile him up--instead of socking him in
the jaw. Anyway if I did say something very cutting and snotty, he'd probably get up and
come over to me and say, "Listen, Caulfield. Are you calling me a crook?" Then, instead
of saying, "You're goddam right I am, you dirty crooked bastard!" all I probably would've
said would be, "All I know is my goddam gloves were in your goddam galoshes." Right
away then, the guy would know for sure that I wasn't going to take a sock at him, and he
probably would've said, "Listen. Let's get this straight. Are you calling me a thief?" Then
I probably would've said, "Nobody's calling anybody a thief. All I know is my gloves
were in your goddam galoshes." It could go on like that for hours. Finally, though, I'd
leave his room without even taking a sock at him. I'd probably go down to the can and
sneak a cigarette and watch myself getting tough in the mirror. Anyway, that's what I
thought about the whole way back to the hotel. It's no fun to he yellow. Maybe I'm not all
yellow. I don't know. I think maybe I'm just partly yellow and partly the type that doesn't
give much of a damn if they lose their gloves. One of my troubles is, I never care too
much when I lose something--it used to drive my mother crazy when I was a kid. Some
guys spend days looking for something they lost. I never seem to have anything that if I
lost it I'd care too much. Maybe that's why I'm partly yellow. It's no excuse, though. It
really isn't. What you should be is not yellow at all. If you're supposed to sock somebody
in the jaw, and you sort of feel like doing it, you should do it. I'm just no good at it,
though. I'd rather push a guy out the window or chop his head off with an ax than sock
him in the jaw. I hate fist fights. I don't mind getting hit so much--although I'm not crazy
about it, naturally--but what scares me most in a fist fight is the guy's face. I can't stand
looking at the other guy's face, is my trouble. It wouldn't be so bad if you could both be
blindfolded or something. It's a funny kind of yellowness, when you come to think of it,
but it's yellowness, all right. I'm not kidding myself.
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The more I thought about my gloves and my yellowness, the more depressed I
got, and I decided, while I was walking and all, to stop off and have a drink somewhere.
I'd only had three drinks at Ernie's, and I didn't even finish the last one. One thing I have,
it's a terrific capacity. I can drink all night and not even show it, if I'm in the mood. Once,
at the Whooton School, this other boy, Raymond Goldfarb, and I bought a pint of Scotch
and drank it in the chapel one Saturday night, where nobody'd see us. He got stinking, but
I hardly didn't even show it. I just got very cool and nonchalant. I puked before I went to
bed, but I didn't really have to--I forced myself.
Anyway, before I got to the hotel, I started to go in this dumpy-looking bar, but
two guys came out, drunk as hell, and wanted to know where the subway was. One of
them was this very Cuban-looking guy, and he kept breathing his stinking breath in my
face while I gave him directions. I ended up not even going in the damn bar. I just went
back to the hotel.
The whole lobby was empty. It smelled like fifty million dead cigars. It really did.
I wasn't sleepy or anything, but I was feeling sort of lousy. Depressed and all. I almost
wished I was dead.
Then, all of a sudden, I got in this big mess.
The first thing when I got in the elevator, the elevator guy said to me, "Innarested
in having a good time, fella?