MODERN GALLANTRY
Ishallbelievethatthisprincipleactuatesourconduct,whenIcanforget,thatinthenineteenthcenturyoftheerafromwhichwedateourcivility,wearebutjustbeginningtoleaveofftheveryfrequentpracticeofwhippingfemalesinpublic,inmonwiththecoarsestmaleoffenders.
Ishallbelieveittobeinfluential,whenIcanshutmyeyestothefact,thatinEnglandwomenarestilloccasionally——hanged.
Ishallbelieveinit,whenactressesarenolongersubjecttobehissedoffastagebygentlemen.
Ishallbelieveinit,whenDorimanthandsafish-wifeacrossthekennel;orassiststheapple-womantopickupherwanderingfruit,whichsomeunluckydrayhasjustdissipated.Ishallbelieveinit,whentheDorimantsinhumblerlife,whowouldbethoughtintheirwaynotableadeptsinthisrefinement,shallactuponitinplaceswheretheyarenotknown,orthinkthemselvesnotobserved——whenIshallseethetravellerforsomerichtradesmanpartwithhisadmiredbox-coat,tospreaditoverthedefencelessshouldersofthepoorwoman,whoispassingtoherparishontheroofofthesamestage-coachwithhim,drenchedintherain——whenIshallnolongerseeawomanstandingupinthepitofaLondontheatre,tillsheissickandfaintwiththeexertion,withmenabouther,seatedattheirease,andjeeringatherdistress;tillone,thatseemstohavemoremannersorconsciencethantherest,significantlydeclares"sheshouldbeweletohisseat,ifshewerealittleyoungerandhandsomer."Placethisdapperwarehouseman,orthatrider,inacircleoftheirownfemaleacquaintance,andyoushallconfessyouhavenotseenapoliter-bredmaninLothbury.
Lastly,Ishallbegintobelievethatthereissomesuchprincipleinfluencingourconduct,whenmorethanone-halfofthedrudgeryandcoarseservitudeoftheworldshallceasetobeperformedbywomen.
Untilthatdayes,Ishallneverbelievethisboastedpointtobeanythingmorethanaconventionalfiction;apageantgotupbetweenthesexes,inacertainrank,andatacertaintimeoflife,inwhichbothfindtheiraccountequally.
Ishallbeevendisposedtorankitamongthesalutaryfictionsoflife,wheninpolitecirclesIshallseethesameattentionspaidtoageastoyouth,tohomelyfeaturesastohandsome,tocoarseplexionsastoclear——tothewoman,assheisawoman,notassheisabeauty,afortune,oratitle.
Ishallbelieveittobesomethingmorethananame,whenawell-dressedgentlemaninawell-dressedpanycanadverttothetopicoffemaleoldagewithoutexciting,andintendingtoexcite,asneer:——whenthephrases"antiquatedvirginity,"andsuchaonehas"overstoodhermarket,"pronouncedingoodpany,shallraiseimmediateoffenceinman,orwoman,thatshallhearthemspoken.
JosephPaice,ofBread-street-hill,merchant,andoneoftheDirectorsoftheSouth-Seapany——thesametowhomEdwards,theShakspearementator,hasaddressedafinesonnet——wastheonlypatternofconsistentgallantryIhavemetwith.Hetookmeunderhisshelteratanearlyage,andbestowedsomepainsuponme.Iowetohispreceptsandexamplewhateverthereisofthemanofbusiness(andthatisnotmuch)inmyposition.ItwasnothisfaultthatIdidnotprofitmore.ThoughbredaPresbyterian,andbroughtupamerchant,hewasthefinestgentlemanofhistime.Hehadnotonesystemofattentiontofemalesinthedrawing-room,andanotherintheshop,oratthestall.Idonotmeanthathemadenodistinction.Butheneverlostsightofsex,oroverlookeditinthecasualtiesofadisadvantageoussituation.Ihaveseenhimstandbare-headed——smileifyouplease——toapoorservantgirl,whileshehasbeeninquiringofhimthewaytosomestreet——insuchapostureofunforcedcivility,asneithertoembarrassherintheacceptance,norhimselfintheoffer,ofit.Hewasnodangler,inthemonacceptationoftheword,afterwomen:buthereverencedandupheld,ineveryforminwhichitcamebeforehim,womanhood.Ihaveseenhim——nay,smilenot——tenderlyescortingamarket-woman,whomhehadencounteredinashower,exaltinghisumbrellaoverherpoorbasketoffruit,thatitmightreceivenodamage,withasmuchcarefulnessasifshehadbeenaCountess.TothereverendformofFemaleEldhewouldyieldthewall(thoughitweretoanancientbeggarwoman)withmoreceremonythanwecanaffordtoshowourgrandams.HewasthePreuxChevalierofAge;theSirCalidore,orSirTristan,tothosewhohavenoCalidoresorTristanstodefendthem.Theroses,thathadlongfadedthence,stillbloomedforhiminthosewitheredandyellowcheeks.
Hewasnevermarried,hutinhisyouthhepaidhisaddressestothebeautifulSusanWinstanley——oldWinstanleysdaughterofClapton——whodyingintheearlydaysoftheircourtship,confirmedinhimtheresolutionofperpetualbachelorship.Itwasduringtheirshortcourtship,hetoldme,thathehadbeenonedaytreatinghismistresswithaprofusionofcivilspeech——themongallantries——towhichkindofthingshehadhithertomanifestednorepugnance——butinthisinstancewithnoeffect.Hecouldnotobtainfromheradecentacknowledgmentinreturn.Sheratherseemedtoresenthispliments.Hecouldnotsetitdowntocaprice,fortheladyhadalwaysshownherselfabovethatlittleness.Whenheventuredonthefollowingdayfindingheralittlebetterhumoured,toexpostulatewithheronhercoldnessofyesterday,sheconfessed,withherusualfrankness,thatshehadnosortofdisliketohisattentions;thatshecouldevenenduresomehigh-flownpliments;thatayoungwomanplacedinhersituationhadarighttoexpectallsortofcivilthingssaidtoher;thatshehopedshecoulddigestadoseofadulation,shortofinsincerity,withaslittleinjurytoherhumilityasmostyoungwomen:butthat——alittlebeforehehadmencedhispliment——shehadoverheardhimbyaccident,inratherroughlanguage,ratingayoungwoman,whohadnotbroughthomehiscravatsquitetotheappointedtime,andshethoughttoherself,"AsIamMissSusanWinstanley,andayounglady——areputedbeauty,andknowntobeafortune,——Icanhavemychoiceofthefinestspeechesfromthemouthofthisveryfinegentlemanwhoiscourtingme——butifIhadbeenpoorMarySuch-a-one(namingthemilliner),——andhadfailedofbringinghomethecravatstotheappointedhour——thoughperhapsIhadsatuphalfthenighttoforwardthem——whatsortofplimentsshouldIhavereceivedthen?——Andmywomanspridecametomyassistance;andIthought,thatifitwereonlytodomehonour,afemale,likemyself,mighthavereceivedhandsomerusage:andIwasdeterminednottoacceptanyfinespeeches,tothepromiseofthatsex,thebelongingtowhichwasafterallmystrongestclaimandtitletothem."
Ithinktheladydiscoveredbothgenerosity,andajustwayofthinking,inthisrebukewhichshegaveherlover;andIhavesometimesimagined,thattheunmonstrainofcourtesy,whichthroughliferegulatedtheactionsandbehaviourofmyfriendtowardsallofwomankindindiscriminately,oweditshappyorigintothisseasonablelessonfromthelipsofhislamentedmistress.
IwishthewholefemaleworldwouldentertainthesamenotionofthesethingsthatMissWinstanleyshowed.Thenweshouldseesomethingofthespiritofconsistentgallantry;andnolongerwitnesstheanomalyofthesameman——apatternoftruepolitenesstoawife——ofcoldcontempt,orrudeness,toasister——theidolaterofhisfemalemistress——thedisparageranddespiserofhisnolessfemaleaunt,orunfortunate——stillfemale——maidencousin.Justsomuchrespectasawomanderogatesfromherownsex,inwhateverconditionplaced——herhandmaid,ordependent——shedeservestohavediminishedfromherselfonthatscore;andprobablywillfeelthediminution,whenyouth,andbeauty,andadvantages,notinseparablefromsex,shallloseoftheirattraction.Whatawomanshoulddemandofamanincourtship,orafterit,isfirst——respectforherassheisawoman;——andnexttothat——toberespectedbyhimaboveallotherwomen.Butletherstanduponherfemalecharacterasuponafoundation;andlettheattentions,incidenttoindividualpreference,besomanyprettyadditamentsandornaments——asmany,andasfanciful,asyouplease——tothatmainstructure.Letherfirstlesson——withsweetSusanWinstanley——toreverencehersex.