托马斯?哈代致伊凡吉林?史密斯
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托马斯?哈代致伊凡吉林?史密斯
亲爱的史密斯小姐：
我颇感兴趣地读完了您那篇精彩的小故事，我本想对它的作者摆起一副评论家的严肃面孔，但这样做很难。但是，我竭力不去想它出自何人之手，而是按照您希望的那样来实事求是地评价它。
这篇故事被资深的评论家称为大有希望的作品，构思巧妙，情节严谨，但文字本身反映出您在斟酌字句上功力不够，这也许就是您提到的为何那位编辑会拒绝它的原因。这个问题在前面几章非常突出，我冒昧地用铅笔在原稿上圈点出来，以提醒您关注那些让人匪夷所思的地方，好让您重新润色。第一卷的最后两页有些偏离主题，我建议您删去它。在掩饰P小姐与莱根家女儿们之间的恩怨上做得还不够好，甚至连爱丽丝后来的忏悔也不能把这种印象抹去。而另一方面，我要祝贺您把仲夏夜教堂门廊的那一幕处理得很棒，这是真正能窥见功底的地方，堪称全书的精华。还有，您引进故事主题的方法也令人赞叹，就在人们差不多忘了故事的主题时，出现了拒绝拖货的马经过教堂院子，而爱丽丝紧跟其后这一幕，人们自然而然地会看出它与当时的愉快时光和总的欢乐氛围形成了鲜明对照。
您千万不要觉得我说出以下的话太不近人情——如果我是您，我就将故事通篇再修改一遍，把它压缩一半或是现在的三分之二。我不是非要您这样做，不过，如果我以前的书稿中有这样的故事的话，我认为这样处理是最好的办法。即使您从没想过出版它，仅仅作为文学练笔，这样做也是值得的。如果您能以一种清新雅致的笔调创作出您的首部书稿，那么，这种做法将是一件好事，尽管它在您成名之后无关紧要。
下面谈谈第二部书稿。这篇故事，莫不如说，这篇速写，是轻松滑稽喜剧的好模板。如果被编辑拒绝，那么原因也许是整体情况太平庸。语言表达有些故作姿态，不过，作些删减就能解决问题。在我还不知道作者年龄时，我无法对他的文字能力或文学功底作出评价。遣词造句还比较流利，这一点似乎表明作者并非完全不懂表达方式，因此，如果作者不过二十五岁，而且是独自完成作品的，那就应该夸奖他。书中人物确实不乏幽默，整个作品也趣味盎然。作为初试牛刀，这部作品及仲夏前夕的故事都绝非平庸之作。
相信我永远是
您诚挚的
托马斯?哈代
1876年12月5日
于斯特敏斯特牛顿村
Thomas Hardy
To
Sturminster Newton，
Dec 5. 1876
Dear Miss Smith,
I have read your charming little story with such a keen interest in its writer that my attempted position of frigid critic has been difficult to maintain. However, I will do my best to dismiss all thoughts of where it came from, and to estimate the work on its own merits, as you desire.
The story then, is one which would be called promising by experienced critics. The plot is well conceived, and well developed; but the writing itself shows want of practice in that department, which was probably the reason of its rejection by the editor you mentioned. The early pages show this particuComrly. I have ventured to make pencillings here and there on the MS. to draw your attention to doubtful portions, that you may reconsider them. The Comst two pages of Book No 1 consist of a digression which I should advise you to strike out: and the ill?feeling between Miss P. and the Lygon girls is scarcely veiled enough. Even Alice's repentance afterwards fails to remove this impression. On the other hand I have to congratuComte you on your execution of the scene in the Church?porch on Midsummer night, which is really strongly written, and the best bit in the tale: Also, too, on the way in which you have managed to introduce the leading idea of the story, when it is nearly forgotten, by showing the refusal of the carthorses to pass the churchyard with Alice behind them. The weird reason of this comes into the mind in excellent contrast to the general happiness and sunlight of the hour.
Now you must not think it harsh of me to say what I am going to say—that if I were you I should rewrite the story from beginning to end, and condense it to about one half, or two thirds, its present length. I do not absolutely advise you to do this, but were the story to turn up among my old manuscripts that is the treatment, which would occur to me as best. As a literary exercise alone it is worth doing, even if you never attempt to print the story. It would be also a good thing if you were to write in a clear round hand in a first MS., though after you become known this does not matter so much.
With regard to the second MS. The story, or rather sketch, is a very fair specimen of light, farcical comedy. Should it be refused by an editor the reason will probably be the extreme slightness of the whole thing. There is some affectation in the expressions, which might be easily cured by excision. I cannot well express an opinion on the literary power or possibilities of the writer without knowing his or her age. There is a certain fluency in the wording, which seems to show that the person is not altogether inexperienced in expressing him or herself, so that if it is the unassisted work of a writer under 25 he is to be praised. There is real humour in the characters. and the sketch altogether is amusing. As first attempts both this and the Midsummer eve story are far above the average.
Believe me to remain
Sincerely yours，
Thomas
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