第314页
《简·爱(英文版)》章节:第314页,宠文网网友提供全文无弹窗免费在线阅读。!
missionary labours.'
'There I, humble as I am, can give you the aid you want: I can
set you your task from hour to hour; stand by you always; help you
from moment to moment. This I could do in the beginning: soon (for I
know your powers) you would be as strong and apt as myself, and
would not require my help.'
'But my powers- where are they for this undertaking? I do not
feel them. Nothing speaks or stirs in me while you talk. I am sensible
of no light kindling- no life quickening- no voice counselling or
cheering. Oh, I wish I could make you see how much my mind is at
this moment like a rayless dungeon, with one shrinking fear fettered
in its depths- the fear of being persuaded by you to attempt what I
cannot accomplish!'
'I have an answer for you- hear it. I have watched you ever since
we first met: I have made you my study for ten months. I have proved
you in that time by sundry tests: and what have I seen and elicited?
In the village school I found you could perform well, punctually,
uprightly, labour uncongenial to your habits and inclinations; I saw
you could perform it with capacity and tact: you could win while you
controlled. In the calm with which you learnt you had become
suddenly rich, I read a mind clear of the vice of Demas:- lucre had no
undue power over you. In the resolute readiness with which you cut
your wealth into four shares, keeping but one to yourself, and
relinquishing the three others to the claim of abstract justice, I
recognised a soul that revelled in the flame and excitement of
sacrifice. In the tractability with which, at my wish, you forsook a
study in which you were interested, and adopted another because it
interested me; in the untiring assiduity with which you have since
persevered in it- in the unflagging energy and unshaken temper with
which you have met its difficulties- I acknowledge the complement of
the qualities I seek. Jane, you are docile, diligent, disinterested,
faithful, constant, and courageous; very gentle, and very heroic:
cease to mistrust yourself- I can trust you unreservedly. As a
conductress of Indian schools, and a helper amongst Indian women, your
assistance will be to me invaluable.'
My iron shroud contracted round me; persuasion advanced with
slow, sure step. Shut my eyes as I would, these last words of his
succeeded in making the way, which had seemed blocked up,
comparatively clear. My work, which had appeared so vague, so
hopelessly diffuse, condensed itself as he proceeded, and assumed a
definite form under his shaping hand. He waited for an answer. I
demanded a quarter of an hour to think, before I again hazarded a
reply.
'Very willingly,' he rejoined; and rising, he strode a little
distance up the pass, threw himself down on a swell of heath, and
there lay still.
'I can do what he wants me to do: I am forced to see and
acknowledge that,' I meditated,- 'that is, if life be spared me. But I