第280页
《简·爱(英文版)》章节:第280页,宠文网网友提供全文无弹窗免费在线阅读。!
While I looked, I thought myself happy, and was surprised to find
myself ere long weeping- and why? For the doom which had reft me
from adhesion to my master: for him I was no more to see; for the
desperate grief and fatal fury- consequences of my departure- which
might now, perhaps, be dragging him from the path of right, too far to
leave hope of ultimate restoration thither. At this thought, I
turned my face aside from the lovely sky of eve and lonely vale of
Morton- I say lonely, for in that bend of it visible to me there was
no building apparent save the church and the parsonage, half-hid in
trees, and, quite at the extremity, the roof of Vale Hall, where the
rich Mr. Oliver and his daughter lived. I hid my eyes, and leant my
head against the stone frame of my door; but soon a slight noise
near the wicket which shut in my tiny garden from the meadow beyond it
made me look up. A dog- old Carlo, Mr. Rivers' pointer, as I saw in
a moment- was pushing the gate with his nose, and St. John himself
leant upon it with folded arms; his brow knit, his gaze, grave
almost to displeasure, fixed on me. I asked him to come in.
'No, I cannot stay; I have only brought you a little parcel My
sisters left for you. I think it contains a colour-box, pencils, and
paper.'
I approached to take it: a welcome gift it was. He examined my
face, I thought, with austerity, as I came near: the traces of tears
were doubtless very visible upon it.
'Have you found your first day's work harder than you expected?' he
asked.
'Oh, no! On the contrary, I think in time I shall get on with my
scholars very well.'
'But perhaps your accommodations- your cottage- your furniture-
have disappointed your expectations? They are, in truth, scanty
enough; but-' I interrupted-
'My cottage is clean and weather-proof; my furniture sufficient and
commodious. All I see has made me thankful, not despondent. I am not
absolutely such a fool and sensualist as to regret the absence of a
carpet, a sofa, and silver plate; besides, five weeks ago I had
nothing- I was an outcast, a beggar, a vagrant; now I have
acquaintance, a home, a business. I wonder at the goodness of God; the
generosity of my friends; the bounty of my lot. I do not repine.'
'But you feel solitude an oppression? The little house there behind
you is dark and empty.'
'I have hardly had time yet to enjoy a sense of tranquillity,
much less to grow impatient under one of loneliness.'
'Very well; I hope you feel the content you express: at any rate,
your good sense will tell you that it is too soon yet to yield to
the vacillating fears of Lot's wife. What you had left before I saw
you, of course I do not know; but I counsel you to resist firmly every
temptation which would incline you to look back: pursue your present
career steadily, for some months at least.'
'It is what I mean to do,' I answered. St. John continued-