第195页
《简·爱(英文版)》章节:第195页,宠文网网友提供全文无弹窗免费在线阅读。!
least. I have not been trampled on. I have not been petrified. I
have not been buried with inferior minds, and excluded from every
glimpse of communion with what is bright and energetic and high. I
have talked, face to face, with what I reverence, with what I
delight in,- with an original, a vigorous, an expanded mind. I have
known you, Mr. Rochester; and it strikes me with terror and anguish to
feel I absolutely must be torn from you for ever. I see the
necessity of departure; and it is like looking on the necessity of
death.'
'Where do you see the necessity?' he asked suddenly.
'Where? You, sir, have placed it before me.'
'In what shape?'
'In the shape of Miss Ingram; a noble and beautiful woman,- your
bride.'
'My bride! What bride? I have no bride!'
'But you will have.'
'Yes;- I will!'- I will!' He set his teeth.
'Then I must go:- you have said it yourself.'
'No: you must stay! I swear it- and the oath shall be kept.'
'I tell you I must go!' I retorted, roused to something like
passion. 'Do you think I can stay to become nothing to you? Do you
think I am an automaton?- a machine without feelings? and can bear
to have my morsel of bread snatched from my lips, and my drop of
living water dashed from my cup? Do you think, because I am poor,
obscure, plain, and little, I am soulless and heartless? You think
wrong!- I have as much soul as you,- and full as much heart! And if
God had gifted me with some beauty and much wealth, I should have made
it as hard for you to leave me, as it is now for me to leave you. I am
not talking to you now through the medium of custom,
conventionalities, nor even of mortal flesh;- it is my spirit that
addresses your spirit; just as if both had passed through the grave,
and we stood at God's feet, equal,- as we are!'
'As we are!' repeated Mr. Rochester- 'so,' he added, enclosing me
in his arms, gathering me to his breast, pressing his lips on my lips:
'so, Jane!'
'Yes, so, sir,' I rejoined: 'and yet not so; for you are a
married man- or as good as a married man, and wed to one inferior to
you- to one with whom you have no sympathy- whom I do not believe
you truly love; for I have seen and heard you sneer at her. I would
scorn such a union: therefore I am better than you- let me go!'
'Where, Jane? To Ireland?'
'Yes- to Ireland. I have spoken my mind, and can go anywhere now.'
'Jane, be still; don't struggle so, like a wild frantic bird that
is rending its own plumage in its desperation.'
'I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with
an independent will, which I now exert to leave you.'
Another effort set me at liberty, and I stood erect before him.
'And your will shall decide your destiny,' he said: 'I offer you my
hand, my heart, and a share of all my possessions.'
'You play a farce, which I merely laugh at.'
'I ask you to pass through life at my side- to be my second self,