第116章 CHAPTER X EXPIATION (4)
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And under this idea she could feel grateful--not yet, if ever she should,if his interference had been prompted by contempt. Oh! had any onesuch just cause to feel contempt for her? Mr. Thornton, above allpeople, on whom she had looked down from her imaginary heights tillnow! She suddenly found herself at his feet, and was strangelydistressed at her fall. She shrank from following out the premises totheir conclusion, and so acknowledging to herself how much she valuedhis respect and good opinion. Whenever this idea presented itself to herat the end of a long avenue of thoughts, she turned away from followingthat path--she would not believe in it.
It was later than she fancied, for in the agitation of the previous night,she had forgotten to wind up her watch; and Mr. Hale had givenespecial orders that she was not to be disturbed by the usual awakening.
By and by the door opened cautiously, and Dixon put her head in.
Perceiving that Margaret was awake, she came forwards with a letter.
\"Here\"s something to do you good, miss. A letter from MasterFrederick.\"
\"Thank you, Dixon. How late it is!\"
She spoke very languidly, and suffered Dixon to lay it on thecounterpane before her, without putting out a hand to lake it.
\"You want your breakfast, I\"m sure. I will bring it you in a minute.
Master has got the tray all ready, I know.\"
Margaret did not reply; she let her go; she felt that she must be alonebefore she could open that letter. She opened it at last. The first thingthat caught her eye was the date two days earlier than she received it.
He had then written when he had promised, and their alarm might havebeen spared. But she would read the letter and see. It was hasty enough,but perfectly satisfactory. He had seen Henry Lennox, who knewenough of the case to shake his head over it, in the first instance, andtell him he had done a very daring thing in returning to England, withsuch an accusation, backed by such powerful influence, hanging overhim. But when they had come to talk it over, Mr. Lennox hadacknowledged that there might be some chance of his acquittal, if hecould but prove his statements by credible witnesses--that in such caseit might be worth while to stand his trial, otherwise it would be a greatrisk. He would examine--he would take every pains. \"It struck me\" saidFrederick, \"that your introduction, little sister of mine, went a long way.
Is it so? He made many inquiries, I can assure you. He seemed a sharp,intelligent fellow, and in good practice too, to judge from the signs ofbusiness and the number of clerks about him. But these may be onlylawyer\"s dodges. I have just caught a packet on the point of sailing--Iam off in five minutes. I may have to come back to England again onthis business, so keep my visit secret. I shall send my father some rareold sherry, such as you cannot buy in England,--(such stuff as I\"ve gotin the bottle before me)! He needs something of the kind--my dear loveto him--God bless him. I\"m sure--here\"s my cab. P.S.--What an escapethat was! Take care you don\"t breathe of my having been--not even tothe Shaws.\"
Margaret turned to the envelope; it was marked \"Too late.\" The letter hadprobably been trusted to some careless waiter, who had forgotten topost it. Oh! what slight cobwebs of chances stand between us andTemptation! Frederick had been safe, and out of England twenty, nay,thirty hours ago; and it was only about seventeen hours since she hadtold a falsehood to baffle pursuit, which even then would have beenvain. How faithless she had been! Where now was her proud motto,\"Fais ce que dois, advienne que pourra?\" If she had but dared to bravelytell the truth as regarded herself, defying them to find out what she
refused to tell concerning another, how light of heart she would nowhave felt! Not humbled before God, as having failed in trust towardsHim; not degraded and abased in Mr. Thornton\"s sight. She caughtherself up at this with a miserable tremor; here was she classing his lowopinion of her alongside with the displeasure of God. How was it thathe haunted her imagination so persistently? What could it be? Why didshe care for what he thought, in spite of all her pride in spite of herself?
She believed that she could have borne the sense of Almightydispleasure, because He knew all, and could read her penitence, andhear her. cries for help in time to come. But Mr. Thornton--why did shetremble, and hide her face in the pillow? What strong feeling hadovertaken her at last?